"Men
with clenched fists cannot shake hands." - Ghandi
A competitive young COO recently admitted to me that anger gets
the best of him now and then. Being a
bit older I had to think back on the people I've worked for or with that had
that same tendency. None came to mind.
Now either my experience is very unusual or my memory has conveniently
erased any semblance of a distinctly angry cohort, colleague or person to whom
I reported.
CLENCHED
FISTS
It should be a relatively easy thing to admit that we all succumb
to anger occasionally but acting out or "clenching a fist" in the
ring of supposed collaboration doesn't cut it. Mike Tyson, the infamous and
former heavy-weight champ shared an interesting observation and put it this
way; "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face."
Evidently, Mr. Tyson came face to face with one or more who lead with
"clenched fists."
The leader mentioned above will be meeting with me later this
month, and thus, anger is on my mind. Ghandi's quote noted here, excuse the
expression, struck me as did another I found nearby, "'Anger' is just one
letter short of danger."
Common sense and personal experience teach us that anger, in just
about any form, accomplishes little. So let's think about this.
LONG
STANDING ANGER
Westerners look at the turmoil in the Middle East and sense there
is a seething anger that spills out into the streets frequently and has done so
apparently for thousands of years. Don't you wonder how a 12-year kid develops
enough anger to pick up rocks and then passes that characteristic on to one
generation after another? Historians and social scientists study and surmise
but in the end it comes down to one thing, nobody is shaking hands and meaning
it.
Citizens all across Europe seem to be angry too. Some say it's
only a matter of time, perhaps less than we imagine, that more anger than has
already been displayed in this country will overflow into the streets as well.
Heck, it's already underway and recorded in the annals of recent history.
People are still hanging out in Wisconsin's capitol building, not happy about
one thing or another. The good news is while mobs trashed the capitol grounds
earlier this year, Molotov cocktails and rock throwing are not in the order of
the day.
ANGER
INTROSPECTION
Workplace violence is another thing and for the sake of not
allowing to go overboard on the subject, let's hope the isolated but frightful
instances that appear to be on an upward trend will not escalate to the point
of being commonplace or so frequent that we become sensitized, especially when
it comes to corporate responsibility and leadership with a much better purpose.
This discussion can't help but call for some introspection. When
was the last time anger got away from me? Was I really angry or deeply
disappointed. How did the display of anger appear to others? They say I wear my
feelings on my sleeve. If that's the case, did my personal assessment of my
behavior align with what others experienced?
If asked, many of us would not be as candid as our COO. As he
talked about that issue and responded to some of my questions about it, we both
concluded that whether one of his direct reports screwed up or the company
missed a significant bid, allowing anger to foment at the top, no matter how
one might rationalize or justify it "is just one letter away from danger."
THE WORST OF TACTICAL WEAPONS
James Autry put it this way in his book, Love & Profit - The Art of Caring
Leadership ; "Anger as a weapon, frequently leads to humiliation, and
humiliation is the one thing no employee will ever forgive you." If prone
to anger, Autry further admonishes leaders that, "You cannot afford to do
something with such long-term negative impact. It will come back to haunt you
more than you'll ever believe."
The truth of the matter is that somewhere along the line, we've
all met with circumstances that resulted in anger being expressed toward us or
the converse also being true. Anger is not only a bad deal awaiting a transaction
but it may also be the weakest link in the chain of one's leadership
aspirations that result in handshakes meeting up with clenched fists.
If any of this applies to you personally, as it does me, we can be
reminded that open palms and calm hearts are precursors to sound, genuine handshakes and commitment.
Jim Naleid
is a Life-long Entrepreneur,
Change-Agent and Thought Leader, Managing Director of Naleid & Associates
and Regional TEC (“The Executive Committee”) Chair leading a
group of executives to become Better Leaders, Making Better Decisions with
Better Results. http://www.linkedin.com/in/jimnaleid
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