The Other Things that are Top-of-MInd

It’s taken a few weeks for me to get back to the keyboard. My wife’s dad passed away on March 20 and besides being my wife’s dad, we were good friends and business partners. Not everything we invested in together worked. We won and we lost. Thankfully we won more than we lost and best of all, when it came time for him to cash in, saying goodbye didn't bring with it the sting of death,[1] or so as sharp as it can be.

A number of years ago, he agreed to allow me to put him through the estate planning process and that we did. Today, as the trustee and personal representative of his estate, I serve his four children and a slug of grandchildren. While it’s comforting to know we did the right things in anticipation of his eventual day of demise, it can still be unnerving when faced with the real task. It’s hard not to ask a few postmortem questions. Did we do everything we could? Did we overlook anything? What did we miss? Will we be able to keep the family intact and without cause for undue concern while the process gets underway? How long will this latent anxiety linger?

It isn't my intent to make excuses for not sticking to my weekly schedule, but to be honest; I simply haven’t felt like it.

Two weeks ago this past Saturday we gathered with family and more friends of that family than we imagined existed in a small town in south-central Minnesota. We gathered for the sake of my father-in-law’s friends that are left and the friends he allowed his kids to nurture over their years of stopping by the place at North North Avenue. As an in-law, one does what they can to be immersed in the social aspect of such an event. Those who have been there know what I mean. You kind of just float around, smile when met with a smile and a handshake. You anticipate the oft asked question, “Now, how are you related to Don?” So it goes.

This was a lively gathering. When it was time to quiet down and take on the serious tone of the morning, we all obediently found a chair while some had to stand. The music was inspiring. The priest, in my opinion, let me emphasize that, in my opinion; was a bit pompous. Probably a nice enough fellow and a kind elementary school teacher. It should go without saying that many there thought otherwise and were moved by his words of comfort and solace.

We all went outside on this chilly late morning to attend to the 21-gun salute and presentation of the flag to the widow of another one of the magnificent “Greatest Generation.” The poor guy with the bugle was a bit surprised when the recording of “Taps” began before he lifted the bugle to his lips. He recovered nicely, however, and we appreciated his effort. Two of the grandsons and one of their wives are currently serving; one in the Air Force, Navy, and Marines. They were smartly attired in their dress blues. Don’s Purple Heart was awarded to him as a Marine corporal for wounds he suffered in the Asia-Pacific theater. Semper Fi always meant something to him too.

I’m not quite back yet, but I’m getting there. From reading the last chapter of a generous old man’s life we decided to take a road trip with stops in Perrysburg, OH; Saratoga Springs, NY, Lake George through the Adirondacks and Woodstock, VT to our destination of Northwood, NH. We wanted to begin and participate in the ‘writing’ of another new book for our seventh grandchild who isn't yet two months old. She’s adorable, little, soft-skinned and precious. There are few things finer than having a tiny human being fall asleep on a grandpa’s chest they've met for the first time.

There’s a leadership lesson in here somewhere but if you can’t find right away, don’t fret. I’m not sure I’ve identified it yet myself. When I sat down to embark on this task before the sunrise this morning, my initial intent was to pick up on one of two subjects that have been coming and going over the last couple of weeks; one having to do with managing advisory or corporate boards and the other being “curiosity.”

I’ll get back to one or the other next week.

Jim Naleid is a Life-long Entrepreneur, Change-Agent and Thought Leader, Managing Director of Naleid & Associates and Regional TEC (“The Executive Committee”) Chair leading a group of executives to become Better Leaders, Making Better Decisions with Better Results. http://www.linkedin.com/in/jimnaleid

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[1] Hosea 13:14; 1 Cor. 15: 55, 56